What if ....

Blog no.4 ..  was actually anticipating blogger's block.. but I'm all good. Light bulb went "ding ding" . and here it is .. (this one came about whilst I was drafting another blog ...  this crazy head of mine).

You know what occurred to me just NOW .. i only just realised that my last 2 blogs have been song titles. Lame in a way, but life is just one big dramatic song & dance right? (and we all appreciate a bit of that song & dance from time to time, or at least we attract it somehow)

So what's keeping me up at this time?
1. I assume I must have insomnia
2. My thoughts .. this mind needs a switch

 and it's ONE particular one liner .. that has made me want to blog tonight...

"What if..." - It is hindsight ... it is regret ... it is hope .. it is doubt ... it's a question you will ask yourself at least once a day.

The two words that often make me wanna smack myself in the head ... and *sigh!
I know that everybody has at some point in their lives, asked themselves the same question(s).

I often find myself feeling like I'm in a bit of a rut because of these horrid What If's. But there is a way to cope. Here is how I try and rid my What If blues. It's about getting on with it ..

So here's how it works ... it's a word called balance (there's the Libran in me). If there was a *LIKE* button on this page, I'd be pressing it non-stop right now; because without balance we'd have no true perspective ... the world would be colourless.

Sure, hindsight is regret ... it's wishing something didn't happen, or hoping someone will change. But what if where you are now, who you are, what you've achieved is exactly where you're supposed to be??

A little insight into my life so far .. and a few What If's I have encountered on the way ..

What If I hadn't snoozed my alarm clock for that extra 2 minutes?? (you think 2 minutes would have made the world of difference, but you still manage to catch the train on time AND get an extra 2 minutes of beauty sleep .. much needed when I realise I've left myself only 4 hours before I need to wake up for work)
What If I had taken THAT job?? (well, you don't have THAT job because you chose THIS job for a reason .. sometimes our minds work in mysterious ways. Much like that gut-feeling which distinguishes right and wrong)
What If I hadn't met you?? (our initial thought after a break up? Never regret somebody because that somebody probably has a lot to do with who you've become. The better you)
What If they hadn't seen me cry?? (to some, it comes across as a sign of weakness, but to me .. it's a beautiful expression of deep emotion/compassion/sensitivity - no matter how small or how big the matter, it shows you care)
What If I didn't make it?? (something that crosses my mind from time to time .. best way to find a healthy medium for this one is to be grateful you're here now and not think of what could have been as it is no longer present)
What If they don't like me?? (and this is just a general 'like' .. a mate, a girlfriend, an associate. Not everybody will get along so why not just focus on not needing that reassurance; because we already know who our true friends are right? You never need to question their intentions)

it is now 12.43am ... and that's not even the start of it ...

My fellow What If-ers .. if it is the dreaded hindsight that does your head in, listen to your Mama B's advice (and one day I'll listen too). There is always an answer to how, when, where & why something happens - it's how it is meant to be. We may ponder on the fact that things would be so different IF .... but everything is just as it should be. It may not seem ideal at the time and it may even take a long time to realise the reason, but you'll get there ... the perspective.

There is no remote control to turn back time (as much as we want to fix the past), fast forward (as much as we want to forget the present), replay (to relive a special moment)  or delete (as much as we wish it didn't happen) - so my advice is to just take everything as it comes. There are important lessons in just about anything we experience.

The What If's have become a part of me .. I know what it is to love, to hurt, to adore, to envy .... without What If, life would be perfect (and boring). I am slowly learning to appreciate the imperfections .. you should try it :)

My fav quote ..  for the times when you're feeling like it's not getting any better..
"Everything is ok in the end ... and if it is not ok, it is not the end"

... Mama B's the Word ...