WWW.WhatWomenWant.com

This time round, I'm not only writing for my beautiful ladies out there .. but I'm seeing it all from the males' perspective too. MISSION: almost impossible (but do-able). Just quietly though, it is a little wink wink nudge nudge for the guys.

I'm not starting some kind of blogging war - DIPLOMACY is key (I'm keepin' the Libran-ness consistent here)

So ta daaaa ... blog no.5  WWW.WhatWomenWant.com

I've got my sexiest 5 inch stiletto on my right foot & the blokiest of man-boots (??) on my left .. despite hypothetically walking quite awkwardly, I'm going to find balance. There is always two sides of the story, so I've been told (and taught) & I'm going to attempt unravelling WWW; girl vs boy style.

At the semi-old ripened age of 27, I have seen & heard enough hooo-haaa  for a lifetime .. so here I am once again to share with you all a little MaMa B insight.

Much like karaoke (whoooohoooo!!) ... this is how it works:
Ladies in red; Guys in blue; Diplomacy in green

http://www.scenario.one/

"the bastard hasn't called or messaged me back!!!"

"I was busy at work, couldn't hear my phone & I'll see you this week anyway"

Ladies, I know how anxiety seems to take over .. your heart starts to beat a little faster .. you pace around the room aimlessly & some may get that nasty little eye twitch. I know .. we all know .. you're expecting that special someone to text you back. We seem to fret over the small things (not to say it's a bad thing), but I think most guys will generally be thinking about you at some point of the day and cross that off as a task complete. Relax, it's a message (though the truth of the matter is, an SMS would only take about 2 precious minutes of his time right? hehe). Give him the  benefit of the doubt when he tells you there was no reception whilst he was having a night out with the boys at some stripclub in KingsX.

Tip for the guys: Just SMS back & shut her up

http://www.scenario.two/

"I saw you having eyesex with that damn F$%^^KING S#&%)"

"Baby, we were just looking in the same direction at the same time"

OK, so he probably was scoping out the eyecandy in the cluuuub with that poor excuse of a dress

& perfect pins BUT we all at times, have wondering eyes .. (the ladies just make it less obvious!). According to the Chan calculator .. Looking minus touching = everybody's a winner. In all fairness, it's just appreciation for the opposite (or same) sex. It's healthy, it's human nature.

Tip for the guys: keep it SUBTLE will ya!?? oh, and tell your girl she's number one

http://www.scenario.three/

"We don't spend enough time together .. you love the boys more than me"

"You're so needy & possessive!"

Code red ladies! This line gets thrown out on most heated discussions between couples. You're stepping on eggshells with this fragile topic. So lets meet each other half way.

Like us ladies, who enjoy the occasional sleepover & pillow fight (oh yeh that shit happens!), boys need their blokey bonding time to balance and escape the feeling of getting tied down. Relax .. give your man an extra length of rope and he will appreciate this, he won't brand you as the whiney, overprotective girlfriend. He sees it happening to his mates; why would he want that for himself?

Tip for the guys: at the end of the day; she's just wanting some quality time. Be spontaneous and set a day each month to do something JUST for her.

http://www.scenario.four/

"Relationship, relationship, change your freakin' status, relationship blah blah blah"

"I want to focus on my career & dont have time for a girlfriend"

Yes, so we're the naggy commitment-seeking women who want stability not only in our jobs, but in our relationships too. Men are often (not all) commitment phobic .. but really; they're probably just looking for a sea change (i.e. a new lady friend!) OR they're genuinely not ready to revolve their world around you.It's a big step to take. But excuse or no excuse; it's a gentle (or not) swift kick towards change for you. Why would you want to stick around with someone who didn't want to put in as much as you did.... i say .. "NEXT!". A cab driver once told me .. "I listen to my wife, because if I dont, somebody else will" .. WOW! 

Tip for the guys: sometimes you just gotta wing it. You might miss an opportunity and never get it back .. the dreaded What If

http://www.scenario.five/

"I can't help it if it's that time of the month"

"Looks like you took your bitchpills this morning"

I don't know about the general female population, but during THAT time of the month, I swear the Huggies TV commercial turns me into a random sobbing mess.. go figure! Boys ... it's hormones & they have yet to create an anti-bitch vaccine. I'm not taking sides here, coz I realise that some females are actually full-time bitches .. so the PMS-ing is 1. an unfortunate additive 2. a time you should let her bitchfit slide & hand her a bar of chocolate. Ladies, listen up. The boys are totally entitled to huff 'n puff & roll their eyes at our spontaneous tantrum chucking (it doesn't make them insensitive). Think about it .. they put up with this skitz stuff up until we hit menopause.... 

Tip for the guys: Don't crucify her for being female .. she'll rip your bloody head off.

http://www.scenario.six/

"it's only because I care"

"you're way too emotional and full on"

Since when did worrying our guts out on your behalf become an excuse to call us emo (or a sook, or a nag .. etc)?? I'd understand if it wasn't our problem.. but we're in this so-called thing, relationship TOGETHER (i'm not dating myself) .. so it does become my problem too. Yes .. i get it .. care less, stress less, don't worry .. we lecture you and you start to sing "la la laaaa la la" in your head. A woman's natural instinct is to nurture.

This time .. a

Tip for the ladies: Some of you may need to tone the 'caring' thing down a little. A papercut doesn't require an ambulance if you know what I'm saying.

http://www.scenario.seven/

"can't we just fix it NOW?"

"it'll be fine .. let me just sleep on it"

I am number one culprit of this bad boy. .. and I have learnt one of the most important lessons from my own Mama Chan (love you). She said to me once (and that's all I needed): "You can fix something that is broken, but you can never fix something that is totally fucked up". The amount of times I wanted to fix things right there and then .. when he didn't.. you're pushing on all the wrong buttons (with no intention of course). I don't know how broad this statement is, but what we tend to class as important .. guys would rather sweep it under the carpet and call it the night. So my advice is, if that's what they want .. give yourselves a good night's sleep and hope that it doesn't come back to bite you in the ass. If it does .. blame him and say "remember how I wanted to talk about... " haha KIDDING (sorta, kinda, not really)

Tip: guys .. I know talking ain't your forte .. but sometimes the ladies just need to vent. Put up with it and hug it out.

http://www.scenario.eight/

"I love you"

"ummm ... thanks"

So it feels like a big fat kick in the face right? .. and I know it's hard to hold back the tears at this point, but try .. because its SIMPLE <-- (flashing neon lights) .. they're just not ready to reciprocate the looooove. It is a major relationship milestone and NOT a word to be thrown around. You know how some people say that there is no sex after marriage (or lack of)? Well, it's a similar concept to how some may see it "all going downhill after the "L" bomb is dropped". It's much like signing the commitment contract & often boys (or girls) don't like the terms and conditions which we have in size 4 font, in brackets, hidden down the bottom of the page. So .. "thank you" in real terms .. is probably a nice honest gesture as opposed to running a mile, agreed? Give it time and you'll eventually have the "no, you hang up first, but I love you more" haha.

So how did I go babies??  Sometimes it's a matter of walking a mile in his shoes to find the true perspective. It prevents us acting on impulse, regretting & makes us a little less selfish.

To tell you the truth though .. I've had enough of walking lop-sided .. it's been one heck of a blog. I'm throwing on my other stiletto .. walking proud (and workin it!) ..because I'm an independent woman ... I can be, and will be strong .. I know what I want.

xX Mama B's the Word Xx

What if ....

Blog no.4 ..  was actually anticipating blogger's block.. but I'm all good. Light bulb went "ding ding" . and here it is .. (this one came about whilst I was drafting another blog ...  this crazy head of mine).

You know what occurred to me just NOW .. i only just realised that my last 2 blogs have been song titles. Lame in a way, but life is just one big dramatic song & dance right? (and we all appreciate a bit of that song & dance from time to time, or at least we attract it somehow)

So what's keeping me up at this time?
1. I assume I must have insomnia
2. My thoughts .. this mind needs a switch

 and it's ONE particular one liner .. that has made me want to blog tonight...

"What if..." - It is hindsight ... it is regret ... it is hope .. it is doubt ... it's a question you will ask yourself at least once a day.

The two words that often make me wanna smack myself in the head ... and *sigh!
I know that everybody has at some point in their lives, asked themselves the same question(s).

I often find myself feeling like I'm in a bit of a rut because of these horrid What If's. But there is a way to cope. Here is how I try and rid my What If blues. It's about getting on with it ..

So here's how it works ... it's a word called balance (there's the Libran in me). If there was a *LIKE* button on this page, I'd be pressing it non-stop right now; because without balance we'd have no true perspective ... the world would be colourless.

Sure, hindsight is regret ... it's wishing something didn't happen, or hoping someone will change. But what if where you are now, who you are, what you've achieved is exactly where you're supposed to be??

A little insight into my life so far .. and a few What If's I have encountered on the way ..

What If I hadn't snoozed my alarm clock for that extra 2 minutes?? (you think 2 minutes would have made the world of difference, but you still manage to catch the train on time AND get an extra 2 minutes of beauty sleep .. much needed when I realise I've left myself only 4 hours before I need to wake up for work)
What If I had taken THAT job?? (well, you don't have THAT job because you chose THIS job for a reason .. sometimes our minds work in mysterious ways. Much like that gut-feeling which distinguishes right and wrong)
What If I hadn't met you?? (our initial thought after a break up? Never regret somebody because that somebody probably has a lot to do with who you've become. The better you)
What If they hadn't seen me cry?? (to some, it comes across as a sign of weakness, but to me .. it's a beautiful expression of deep emotion/compassion/sensitivity - no matter how small or how big the matter, it shows you care)
What If I didn't make it?? (something that crosses my mind from time to time .. best way to find a healthy medium for this one is to be grateful you're here now and not think of what could have been as it is no longer present)
What If they don't like me?? (and this is just a general 'like' .. a mate, a girlfriend, an associate. Not everybody will get along so why not just focus on not needing that reassurance; because we already know who our true friends are right? You never need to question their intentions)

it is now 12.43am ... and that's not even the start of it ...

My fellow What If-ers .. if it is the dreaded hindsight that does your head in, listen to your Mama B's advice (and one day I'll listen too). There is always an answer to how, when, where & why something happens - it's how it is meant to be. We may ponder on the fact that things would be so different IF .... but everything is just as it should be. It may not seem ideal at the time and it may even take a long time to realise the reason, but you'll get there ... the perspective.

There is no remote control to turn back time (as much as we want to fix the past), fast forward (as much as we want to forget the present), replay (to relive a special moment)  or delete (as much as we wish it didn't happen) - so my advice is to just take everything as it comes. There are important lessons in just about anything we experience.

The What If's have become a part of me .. I know what it is to love, to hurt, to adore, to envy .... without What If, life would be perfect (and boring). I am slowly learning to appreciate the imperfections .. you should try it :)

My fav quote ..  for the times when you're feeling like it's not getting any better..
"Everything is ok in the end ... and if it is not ok, it is not the end"

... Mama B's the Word ...

Because of You .....

Yep ... I have either had some sort of miraculous epiphany OR .. life really is just that simple ...
After a much needed getaway to the Gold Coast, I have returned to Sydney semi-tanned & considerably clear-minded (so I keep telling myself)
.. I was never good at maths, but 2 days away from the usual hustle & bustle = AMAZING!

And so here it is ... blog no.3 - an entry that has come about from the realisation that life is not as complicated as it seems... I pinky swear.

I am definitely not a glorified Oprah, Ricki Lee or Dr Phil ... but this Mama (B) can answer just about any question to do with YOU & how we all got here, this exact moment .. want me to let you in on my secret??

it's "Because of You"

No, I promise this is not a blog inspired by Kelly Clarkson .. nor is it some sort of vengeful blame game ... I'll show you ..

I believe we were all born without definition (because to me, the future is unforeseen). We were born without knowing morals, and had not a single unique 'trait' besides our physical genetic make-up. When I say trait I'm speaking of the special something that has made YOU who you are (and nobody else).

I often ask myself how I ever got here. To this point in time .. what made me twitch? Disappointed? Upset? Excited? Whatever it might be ...

In either my brightest or darkest moments, YOU (or someone else) has been a part of my journey .. and I have evolved "Because of You"

When I say "you", it is each & every one of you - family, friends, foes .. it's the lovely barrister who makes your coffee in the morning .. it is the people who surround your life ..

"Because of You" .... (which one is YOU)

... I have cried my most painful tears

... I faced my worst fears (clowns & spiders are a totally different story .. ewww freaking out!!.... seeee?)

... there is a reason for my actions

... I felt weak & insignificant

... I felt strong & independent

... I have butterflies

... I have loved unconditionally & have also despised

... I am healing

... I sacrificed & expected nothing in return

... I know right from darn-right-fucking-stupid

... I'm stronger & more cautious

... I'm better than before

... I am here .. and I want to be

... I'm happy

... I'm ME

So .. before you make yourself go grey about that particular "so & so" ... stop ... turn it around ... and thank them for it. For it was "him" .. and it was "her" .. it was "Because of You" that I am who I am, and you are who you are .....   Simple.

P.S. Because Of You .. haha how ironic .. I swear that was not intentional ... or was it!?? 

So here's to more epiphanies & blogs ..

xx MaMa B's the Word xx